Disappointed: sad or displeased because someone or something has failed to fulfill one’s hopes or expectations

Offended: resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult or being displeased

Can you see by definition, we will all be disappointed at times but where we get in trouble is when we choose to follow that path all the way to yielding to offense instead of love. It’s clearly unscriptural to be offended because scripture gives us plenty of warnings against resentment and even being annoyed. I think of Isaiah that says that the chastisement (or aggravation/annoyance) of our peace was upon Him and by His stripes, we were healed. There is actually plenty of science behind the link between sickness and stress or the aggravation of our peace. We can have peace or be offended and annoyed or stressed out by people who disappoint us or fail to meet our all-important expectations. But we can’t have both.

Problem is that in our current culture, in an effort to find peace at whatever cost, the enemy has seen fit to equip an entire generation to think the answer is cutting “toxic, unsafe people” out of their lives in order to have peace. But death never produces life except when you’re talking about dying to your own sin which is what would happen if you would choose to die to offense rather than announce to everyone in a celebratory way that you are offended. It always cracks me up when a Christian says as if she needs a blue ribbon, “Well, I’m offended.” Actually, you are not winning. Every time I hear someone say that, I want to ask, “Oh, are you always cheating on your spouse? And if you were, would you announce that sin as proudly as you are announcing this one?” The truth is you are sunk if you are in the habit of being offended and don’t understand that it could be THE sin that has gotten you into all the other ones. Offense is a door that swings wide open to a grease pole to all kinds of hellish things that can then grow freely in your life in the fertile soil of evil that offense is.

The thing about offense is that being offended is truly what’s so toxic. Offense blames everyone else for it’s own issues. And second hand offense is down right lethal. It’s like second hand smoke, the most dangerous. What you are seeing all over the media right now is all about second hand offense and it stinks in the nostrils of God. Strife and confusion is often if not always rooted in offense. It seperates the best of friends and it confuses unbelievers to see believers offended with each other about all sorts of dumb stuff or important stuff. It’s all the same. It’s stuff that love should be covering instead of offense feeling the need to exacerbate.

The reality is all of these people are being sold a bill of goods (that are not resulting in good) who are getting their doctrine mixed up with godless podcasters making a fortune by telling people what they want to hear. “Cut her off. Don’t listen to your dumb parents or aunts or uncles or pretty much anyone in authority if you don’t agree with them or if they say something that doesn’t suit your exact fancy in that dreamy moment. Your Pastor is too this and not enough that.” Blah, Blah, Blah…Offense. Offense. Offense. It’s a ploy from the pit of hell to get young people seperated from older, wiser (yes, imperfect) people who love them. And so many are falling for it hook, line, and sinker. And it is sinking people’s lives, relationships, and entire cities.

Let’s take a look at what the Bible says about being offended and see if you still want to announce at your next get together with friends about how offended you are with Julie, or Camden, or your mom or his aunt. Go back and re-read the definitions of being disappointed and then about being offended. Then read these verses.

• Proverbs 19:11: “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense”.
• Proverbs 12:16: “The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult”.
• Ecclesiastes 7:21-22: “Don’t take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others”.
• Proverbs 10:12: “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses”. 
• Colossians 3:13: “Make allowances for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others”. 
• 1 Corinthians 13:5: Love “is not irritable, and doesn’t keep a record of being wronged”. 
• John 6:60-61: After Jesus spoke a difficult truth, many disciples said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” and Jesus asked, “Do you take offense at this?”.
• John 8:23-24: Jesus told some who rejected Him, “You are from below; I am from above… unless you believe that I am He you will die in your sins,” illustrating that truth can be offensive.
• Matthew 24:10: “And then many will be offended and will stumble and fall away and betray one another and hate one another”. 
• Proverbs 18:19: “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle”. 

So now, let’s say you are convinced, offended is not something you want to be any more about anything or with anyone. Let’s say this scripture shed light in this part of your heart that needed it and you humbled yourself, received it, and let it do a work inside of you. Maybe you even want to look back over your life and see if becoming offended with a parent or a pastor or a sibling or a friend or an enemy is what got you started down the wrong path and maybe if you could get back to that place and take a different turn, yielding to love or patience or peace instead of offense, you could start over in a sense and find your way toward where you really want to be.

Let’s go back to the crossroads of disappointed and offended and what if you chose to stop at Disappointed and then yield to these verses instead of barging through that Yield sign straight to offense and in the line of “traffic” where you have since gotten hit in life over and over and you are ready to yield now to this instead of offense going forward:

• Jeremiah 29:11:“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope”. 
• Proverbs 3:5-6:“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”. 
• 1 Peter 5:7: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”. 
• Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”. 
• Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”.
• Isaiah 40:31: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint”. 
• Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”.
• John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world”.

I’d be willing to bet, you would take a different turn and your entire life could be going in a whole different direction. I’m going to leave this with you and come back next week to share how this happened in my own life and how it changed the trajectory of my life.

I may just do a few more weeks on this and share story after story, some where they ended up going back to that intersection and yielding to The Word and how their lives are actually beautiful and even dreamy now. Whereas when they were listening to mainstream social media garbage advise even sometimes wrapped in scriptures taken out of context…promising them “riches and royalty” they “deserved” Bahahah actually we all deserve hell. But that’s another topic for another day. I can think of so many who let God help them resolve their disappointments including myself and then those who still have not. One guess, who’s lives are thriving and which ones are struggling to survive?

Come back next week and I pray this blog series will be helpful to you or someone you love who needs this heavy revy. Seriously, I know this is a lot and I just threw it out there like hash. I’ll be praying for you that it sinks into the crevices of your heart and brings healing, life, and joy.

XO,

Adrienne

***Help me celebrate 10 years of blogging and 10 years of Happy ANYWAY by helping me “spread the happy”, the same mission from the beginning. Share this blog with a friend or three. You’re never more like God than when ya give and giving someone the life changing Word of God is the best happy you can give.

***Also, looks like the next Happy Girl Getaway will be in Newport Beach, California Nov 8-10th or 7-9th -the specific dates will depend on which of those two work best for most coming. Go to adriennecooley.com and fill out the interest form for it if you want more details! I’m super excited and you will NOT be disappointed in this weekend! Pun intended 🙂 It’s going to be “A Whole New World!”