Anything bothering you lately? I was so incredibly bothered about something recently and it was filling my thoughts as I drove down the road, put on my make-up, and even as I studied Scripture, prayed, and worked. Am I alone or does that happen to you? I was constantly taking thoughts captive and bringing them into submission of His Word and it seemed like just as soon as I got one thought “handled” here comes another sort of like a mosquito in the back woods of Mississippi where I grew up.

Let’s talk about being unbothered. I wanted to share with you a few things I’ve come to realize about being unbothered.

Unbothered:

Etymology first (because words have stories)

Bothered comes from the verb bother, which showed up in English in the early 1700s.

Its exact origin is a little fuzzy, but most linguists think it comes from Irish or Scottish Gaelic roots meaning something like:

• “to confuse,”

• “to perplex,”

• “to annoy,”

• “to disturb.”

There’s an Irish word bodhar meaning “deaf, stunned, confused,” which fits the vibe: when something “bothers” you, it jangles your inner peace, distracts you, unsettles you.

So yeah, it’s an old Celtic-ish word that wandered into English and set up shop.

Unbothered has been in use for over a century, but exploded in modern use thanks to social media.

“Unbothered” basically means:

• Not disturbed

• Not fazed

• Not stressed

• Not drawn into drama

And culturally it has become a whole mood.

What does bothered mean?

Straight up…

• Annoyed

• Troubled

• Distressed

• Emotionally stirred up

• Something is demanding attention in your inner world

It’s basically your soul saying, “Hey… I need you to look at this.”

Should you aim to be unbothered?

Honestly, it depends what you mean by “unbothered.”

Unhealthy unbothered:

• Ignoring real emotions

• Shutting down

• Suppressing discomfort

• Acting numb or “above it all”

That’s not spiritual maturity; that’s emotional avoidance dressed in designer clothes.

Healthy unbothered…

• Not letting every opinion throw you off

• Emotional resilience

• Inner stability

• “Peace that passes understanding” vibes

• Choosing your battles instead of leaking energy everywhere

That’s kingdom-level composure.

So… is it okay to be bothered?

Absolutely.

Being bothered is often a sign you’re human, awake, and taking life seriously.

Even Jesus got bothered:

• He was troubled in spirit

• He wept

• He flipped tables

• He sighed at the hardness of hearts

• He felt compassion (which literally means “moved deeply within”)

Being bothered can be a signal, not a problem.

The deeper question you’re actually asking:

Is being bothered evidence of weakness or a sign of life?

I’d say it like this:

Being bothered means you still feel. Being unbothered means you’re learning which feelings deserve your attention.

Both matter.

How do you become healthily unbothered?

Here’s the real secret sauce:

1) Decide whose voice defines your identity

When the Father’s voice is the loudest, the world’s whispers can’t shake you.

2) Release the illusion of control

You can’t control people, outcomes, or opinions.

You can only control your response.

3) Reframe your triggers

When something bothers you, ask:

• “What is this revealing about me?”

• “What expectation is clashing with reality?”

• “What wound is this poking?”

If a trigger becomes a teacher, it loses its power.

4) Build margin in your soul

Fatigue makes everything feel catastrophic.

Rest makes you resilient.

5) Practice selective attention

Not every battle, burden, or comment is worth your emotional currency.

6) Let the Holy Spirit shepherd your inner world

Psalm 23 isn’t poetry; it’s therapy.

He leads us beside still waters

He restores the soul

He prepares a table in the presence of enemies

He sets the pace for your emotions

When the Spirit is your shepherd, your soul becomes less reactive and more centered.

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Final thought:

You don’t need to choose between being bothered and unbothered.

Be bothered by the right things.

Be unbothered by the wrong things.

And let the Holy Spirit tell you the difference.

He is The Great Comforter and Counselor. Yield to His guidance on this and I’ll be praying for you to become unbothered by the wrong things and bothered by the right things.

Let’s be bothered by a world that needs Jesus and let our compassion move us to take action. And let’s become unbothered by things we will be casting onto Him, trusting in His care for us.

Happy Monday, Ya’ll!

Adrienne