So have you stopped to think lately what is it that gets in the way of your happiness most?  

I would propose it isn’t the stuff you think it is. At least that’s what I’m finding out for me. 

Visiting with a friend this weekend and she said something that really stuck…”Its never really about what you think the problem is. The real problem doesn’t have anything to do with the arguement you just had with your spouse or that you just lost your job or that your friend hasn’t called you in a year. The real problem isn’t that you aren’t “where you thought you’ld be by now” or that you can’t make that A in Biology. The hindrance to your happiness isn’t that you are a single Mom longing for companionship or you just experienced loss of some kind that has left you hopeless or that you cannot find the time to ever go get your nails done or shave your legs…or all of the above. It’s more about the background noise behind all of that. 

 

Here are the real hindrances lurking in the shadows and many times we don’t even know they are there holding us back from living a life filled with joy, peace, and contentment or you could sum all that up by saying —- being happy — laughing loving and REALLY living!!!  

This weekend I was out of town visiting a friend and I heard the most amazing question that I may have ever heard in my life while visiting Word of Life in Jackson, MS —- “What if we could tie our self worth to our courage to keep getting back up swinging after being knocked down over and over and over again instead of tieing it to success or failure?” Pastor Joel Sims

{ insecurity }

👆👆👆 That’s perhaps what is keeping you from really being happy. I have always thought insecurity was at least one flaw I just did not have. I literally would space out in high school when people would come and talk about self image and insecurities as I could not relate. I don’t mean to seem arrogant. I have never been an arrogant person but I have always been pretty confident. I’ve actually been a pretty Godfident person understanding and actually believing with God all things are possible. My thoughts are as long as I am serving God and He is for me who can be against me?! But this weekend I learned where my insecurity lies and it has been a missing link for me and is a hindrance for me in my own happiness at times. 

Here’s what I mean….  

so Pastor Joel, a dear friend of ours whom we have the utmost respect for, asked another question that rocked my world to my very core…….”How do you treat yourself when you let yourself down?”

What?!?! I’m in the middle of writing love ANYWAY, a new womens’ devotional on the heels of happy ANYWAY. I’ve been studying a lot about loving your enemies as yourself and with that comes lots about self love. A topic I stink at and am determined to live out as God is just pouring out His love and grace all over me about this subject. This is the part that has tripped me up my whole life and maybe you too!!!! So I’m learning to love myself and like, go get massages and manicures and maybe but myself a little happy now and then. I’ve been cutting out time to exercise more because I love me. But due to insecurity I have not treated myself well at alllllll when I mess up. I beat myself black and blue figuratively.  

“Imperfection is not inadequacy.” Pastor Joel Sims

Ok another truth bomb! Totally blowing up my life in the best kind of way!!!!  

You see I have been “shoulded all over my whole life!” And you probably have been too. This leaves us expecting perfection from ourselves and not cutting ourselves slack ever. Nobody else does so surely we shouldn’t either right?! No! Not right. 

So how is insecurity such an issue when I thought all along I am a confident person? I’m bold to try things and go for things. I’m confident that God created me to be someone who can serve others and am willing to give it my all doing so.  

You may be confident in certain ways as well. But man this weekend I came to realize I’ve been so insecure when the arrows start flying and people start disapproving. That’s when I have shut down. That’s when insecurity pops it’s ugly head and I second guess & think “You know they have a point. I did mess this or that up. Maybe I just don’t have what it takes and only thought I did. I mean look at the results.” (no matter how good results are, through the eyes of insecurity it is never enough) Then more thoughts confirmed by those we look to for encouragement come to our minds that say, you just aren’t this or aren’t that. You can’t do this or that. Self worth is doubted when we fail and others enjoy our failure or point it out so faithfully or sit by with a watchful eye in silence waiting for you to “come to yourself” and stop trying so they can be right. Insecurity upon insecurity. So it’s not about the argument or the distance or the situation you think it’s about. It’s about the insecurity and terrible self talk that we have with ourselves as a result of whatever your given struggle is. Ok I get it, you messed up royally. So did I! Haven’t we all?! My favorite verse and has been since I was a teenager is 1 Corinthians 10:13

Notemptation has overtaken you except such as is commontoman; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

We are all in this together and we are all facing the same stuff!! We just gotta not quit, know that we can bear it and that we are not alone. So WHAT IF we measured our self worth by courage and not success or failure? 

If I would measure my self worth by courage, I would have fantastic self worth!!! And you would too!!! You’re still here. You’re still going!!! If you’re alive, your still in the game!!!! So play and hit that ball. Stop shrinking back. Go for it. Stop listening to insecure thoughts in your head or words from your haters or distance from your frenemies. All of that is keeping you from peace & joy. Those things are not the hindrances to your joy. But the insecurities around it all IS! 

Next week I plan to unpack another hindrance to happiness and that is Shame.

Oh. My. Goodness. You will not believe the revelation nxt week about that word and how it may be the thing lurking in the shadows keeping you from your happy! Have a great week and subscribe to the blog if you haven’t so you don’t miss one. I want to keep you motivated and happy and together spread the happy to everyone we can! 

Lets shake off insecurity, tie our self worth to our courage to keep going and not to success or failure today and have a Happy Monday!!!