Family…family gets a bad rap all too often. Rightfully so sometimes.

I am just overwhelmed with gratitude when I think of the family I married into and the family I came from. Being in ministry now for “a few years” and seeing how troubled so many families are and how horrific some stories are what people have lived through, I’m that much more filled with thankfulness for family.

We are in Estes Park this week for a family wedding and tonight was the rehearsal dinner. Hearing all the wonderful toasts and just how much love there is in the two families joining together filled my heart to overflowing. We had another family wedding on my husband’s side last month and same thing, that time together with family celebrating two godly young people and seeing how beautiful those families both were and are has just been the best. And only three months ago our own son married the love of his life, an absolutely precious young lady who is from such a great family. Their wedding was a breathtaking picture as well of our two families filled with love for eachother joyfully celebrating our two babies of our families getting married. I just don’t know how much I can take before my heart explodes with confetti or something. It’s been everything and more we could ever have dreamed of for our family with three perfect weddings this year. All this fun, young love mixed with all of our mature love filled with gratitude on the other side of decades of life. The brides and grooms are just getting started and filled with hope, happiness, and optimism. The rest of us have lived long enough to know how hard the road ahead will be at times as it has been for all of us but even so, here is what has been just something I didn’t expect to grab me so from all of this…

The warm and fuzzies that have filled my heart experiencing all the love from all of these families while also knowing the paths and challenges, heart aches and pain all of us have faced over the years just because life happens. All of our families have had difficulties and curves in the road which have looked very differently and it hasn’t been a bed of roses every step of the way. There have most certainly been lots and lots of wonderful parts of all of our lives that have far outshadowed struggles or hardships but what I’m saying is that the love I’ve witnessed these families have for each other, the way they overlook wrongs, laugh together and don’t take themselves too seriously has been incredibly life giving. It must be rare. I haven’t seen it up close and personal very much like I have with all of these weddings. No bridezillas. No family drama. It’s been quite delightful to experience.

This year of walking through these three weddings has left me wanting to be more like my husband’s family and it has left me filled with gratitude that I get to be part of this family. Here’s what I keep thinking about…there seem to be so few families like this. Families where siblings love each other deeply and work through hard things to stay in healthy relationship with each other. Families where God is the center of their families and it doesn’t include judgemental religion where you cut people out because of silly disagreements. Families that know how to cut each other slack, be gracious, forgiving, and close even through hard times. Families where good choices, godly decisions, and wise examples are set as parents that create godly, wise, and healthy cousins who all love each other and have meaningful relationships. Families where we all genuinely look so forward to seeing each other at holidays and there are no butterflies in any of our stomachs about family drama that is needed to be avoided or navigated that drains the joy meant to be shared in abundance during these sweet times.

I’ve been exposed to very few families where they aren’t all gossipping about each other and at each other’s throat or making snide remarks about their in-laws or being either aggressive or passive aggressive in dealings with siblings, cousins, or in-laws. Broken families who refuse to own things, repent, forgive, and change when needed produce broken kids who produce more broken families. But broken families who stay at the table no matter how bad things have gotten, repent, forgive, say I’m sorry, hear each other out, laugh and let themselves relax and enjoy each other, and cut each other slack seem to be families who produce healthy kids who produce healthy families. Those broken families become whole families.

What if you come from a broken family? It can stop with you. You can change the cycle. You can’t keep others from doing what they want or being the way they choose to be but you can be loving, forgiving, and humble. My husband’s family is not perfect. There were hard times. No family is perfect. But the way they are able to make lemon into lemonade is inspiring. The way they never make me feel like an outsider is so refreshing. My mom was like this and always demanded family pictures to always include the in-laws. She believed once us kids married, our spouses were just as much family from that moment on as we were. Her family and my Dad’s family went through so much but never walked away from the table. They always worked things out with their siblings and they honored their parents no matter what.

I think this was on my heart because of me being over our Next Gen at our church for the last year and I see the need for strong families to help families who maybe aren’t so strong to grow in wisdom and strength and godliness. And in light of seeing families who are struggling, it’s just been so refreshing to feel loved and part of a family who celebrates each other so beautifully. Weddings can be stressful and can bring the worst out of families but it’s been so sweet to get to celebrate these sweet couples and get to experience healthy, godly families rallying around these couples embarking on their new lives together, surrounding them with such pure love, godly wisdom, and holy examples.

There is nothing more fulfilling than a whole family and I just wanted to express how grateful I am to be part of such a whole family, not without struggle, not perfect, but whole and healthy, vibrant, and fun. This family I married into has only gotten better with age. It’s been beautiful to see them grow, increase in every area of life, be successful, fruitful, and become more and more close to the Lord as time goes on. Their kids and kids’ kids love Jesus and are following Him. They are all such a delight to be around and it’s an absolute honor to get to call them all family. And now we have just added to this amazing family even more amazing new FAMILY!

What a Happy Monday it has been!

XO,

A