“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:25‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Remember being a little girl on the playground at school plucking petals from flowers in hopes of finding out if he loved you or not? I remember little crushes in the 3rd and 4th grade and wondering if that was really how you could tell if the cutest boy in class liked you or not. Girls long to be loved, adored and chased. Chased. Did you play chase in elementary on the play ground? That was so fun. I remember in Star, MS the boys chasing the girls all over that playground. We acted like we didn’t like it but we know we did. 

Ya know, we still want to be chased. But are you being chased, loved, and adored the way you long to be? If not, I have a suggestion. There was a time or three in our marriage where I felt that way too. But I have good news – if you aren’t being chased, there are a couple of things you might consider doing to help turn the tide in your relationship. Fortunately the fate of it is not up to the petals of a flower. It is much up to you.  

 

Try this for starters… Respect him and show that respect every day, especially in front of people. Yep, when he deserves it and when he doesn’t.  { Eph. 5:33 } You want him to love you when you don’t deserve it so guess what? He needs you to respect him wether he deserves it or not. Just watch, you will be the wind beneath his wings. Before long, he will live up to that respect and begin to chase you like nobody’s business. You show him respect and he will be puddy in your hands drooling all over himself to love you. I know it almost sounds manipulative but it’s not really exactly. It’s just cause and effect and it goes both ways. But somebody’s got to step up and get the victorious cycle going and the vicious cycle to die.

 

Secondly, try this. Run if you want him to chase you. No, I mean literally run. Go to the gym and get off your lazy bum and get in shape. I can’t believe how much I let myself go. We get busy, years go by not being chased or feeling loved, approved of or whatever the excuse may be and we stop being our best. You want to be chased? Like it or not, men are shallow and they chase beauty – plain and simple. Take the effort to be your best and I don’t only mean on the outside. Stop fussing all the time and become fun to be around and he might chase you again and give you the love you desperately need.  Also look up information about being enmeshed vs differentiated. You may need to run in the sense of becoming your own person a little bit again and playing a little hard to get. Being a door mat is not attractive. Men still like a challenge so be confident and differentiated. Desperate is very much a turn off. 

 

Lastly, pray and look to God to fill that need. Read Song of Solomon and fall head over heels in love with Jesus. I’ve done this in times in my marriage where there were rough spots and guess what? As I sought the Lord, He changed me and it’s amazing how that changed “us”. The more you adore God, the more asorable you will become.

Now, of course there are situations where you just have a real jerk on your hands and professional help is needed. If so, get help. But in most cases, these three tips can get you back on track being loved, adored, and chased like you desired as a little girl on the playground plucking those petals off the flowers. 

Happy Valentine’s! Happy Monday!