All you Mom’s, I hope you had a wonderful day yesterday. I had such a special time with my precious boys and family. I was so thankful to have my boys with me and spend some fun time together. I hope you got to do that with either your mom or kids…or if you’re lucky, both! 

As many of you know, it was my first Mother’s Day without my Mom. I decided instead of crying all day and being sad I would genuinely miss her but that I would accept my husband’s invitation to share the platform with him at church to teach a Mother’s Day message that we both had in our hearts to share. I also decided to think all day of memories I could recall about her and times we had together and to just focus on how thankful I am to have had such an amazing mother. I had been grieving really hard the last few months leading up to Mother’s Day but as it drew near, God comforted me beyond my wildest dreams. Sooo thankful. And today has been the most beautiful day of celebration of her for me since she went to heaven. Only God could do that! 

I’ld like to share some things from our message today that Mom did really well. Here are a few statements from the message today that might bless you…. 

* Life balance comes when your values and your behavior match.  

* Start doing more of what you love and less of what you hate. 

* It’s not that we do too many things. It’s that we are doing the wrong things.  

* Boundaries are about self respect. 

* Are you doing things to be loved or to be loving?  

* Strart being where you want to be, not where you are expected to be. It’s YOUR life. Not theirs!  

*We all have the same 24 hrs in a day. We just need to prioritize differently. 

* No is a complete sentence. You don’t owe an explanation.  

This afternoon as I sat in a lawn chair and journaled looking down at the hydrangeas from our yard laying on the ground next to Mom’s headstone, it dawned on me…

My mom knew these things I spoke of this morning. There were dozens of times I asked my Mom to do things she didn’t want to do. You know what? She loved me and I knew it, but she flat didn’t do it if she didn’t want to. She had a revelation that her life was her life and not mine or anyone else’s even though she loved me and others dearly and we knew it. Did I always like it? No! Did I sometimes think she was being selfish? Yep. But now I see she wasn’t. She was “doing her”. I then also thought of when we were kids and she would take us swimming. I remember her getting so frustrated with her friend who would hold us up from getting to the pool because she had to clean her house and according to Mom, far more than necessary. Mom left things undone to spend time with us and to take us swimming. It’s what she wanted to do and so we did it.

She wanted to marry a cowboy she fell in love with and she did. She loved him with all her heart her whole life. She wanted to learn how to paint, draw, carve, sew, you name it…..she could do it when it came to being a true artist. She chose Pathology as a career because to her, she got to look at art all day through a microscope. She had been in nursing school but decided that’s not what she wanted and so she had the courage to change and do what fit her better. She was not a room mom. She didn’t come to all my games. Yet she went to the ones she chose to go to and didn’t seem to feel guilty about missing some when life necessitated it. She didn’t make excuses for her house, her clothes, her schedule, her weight, or her hair. She didn’t always like all of those things about herself (none of us do at all times, right?!) but she never apologized for them. She made choices and stood by them. You could like her choices or not and she would be fine with either. She was wise and humble and knew all of her decisions were not always right. That’s when she would simply say, “Oh well.” And just be genuinely happy anyway. Really sort of just happy go lucky if you will. Then she would make the adjustment and continue to live from her values for the most part. No one is perfect though she was close…especially in hindsight. 

Lord, help all of us live from our values more like Mom did. Perhaps this is why you just about couldn’t rock her boat. Anxiety and stress come when there is a disconnect between your values and your behavior. Mom was not a stressed out, anxious person and I think I just discovered why. 

What do you say?! Join me in honoring my Mom and maybe some of yours following Mother’s Day. Let’s decrease our stress and anxiety and let’s do what the heck we want to do a little bit more like Mom did. Funny thing is this is how she was so happy to sacrifice and be others-minded because really, she didn’t fill her schedule with things she didn’t want to be doing, and she really didn’t care what you thought about it or expected from her. She did what SHE decided to do and that left her margin to give and do for the ones she loved the most. Wow, I’m finally learning this and I know she is leaning over the banisters of heaven cheering us all on!!

 {{ Happy Mother’s Day in heaven, Mom! I know it’s the best one you’ve had in a long time getting to see Grandmother. That makes me happy to think about you two laughing and enjoying each other!  }}

I double dog dare you!

Go ahead and do more of what you love! Be where you want to be and not always just where others want you to be. Let’s live from our values and notice our happiness meters go up and up and up!!!

Happy Monday!!!