Whether you are single coming up on this Valentines Day, happily married, or barely married, you have probably felt like your love has been lost at some point in life. But I have good news for you!
If you are in a relationship with someone, your love is not lost. There is no place in the Bible that says anyone ever lost their love. But in the book of Revelation, God tells this group of people they are doing so great in all these things except He had one thing against them….they had left their first love.
I heard Pastor Joel Sims of Word of Life in Jackson, MS say this….”When something is lost, you don’t know where it is. But when you leave something, you know exactly where it is and you choose to leave.” Truth! Don’t leave love. Love never fails! When we leave love, we leave the only thing that never fails. In marriage or in any relationship you have a choice to yield to love in the situation or yield to anger, sadness, lust, or any host of emotions that lead to actions of leaving love.
It’s in the day to day that we consistently make choices to leave love by turning our hearts away from each other. This can happen in any kind of relationship. The moment you turn your heart away from someone, a domino effect begins.
The Bible says not to be deceived, God is not mocked. Whatever we sow that if we do not grow weary and lose heart and faint (quit and give up) in due season, we will reap. But when we turn our hearts away from each other because we are hurt and for good reason maybe, we begin the process of leaving love. It can be a slow fade and that is why is feels like it somehow just got lost along the way. In reality though, you or your partner just started turning their heart away and leaving love little by little.
Have you ever been to the beach and you’re out in the water? All of a sudden you look up and you’re way down the beach. The current took you far from where you first walked into the water. Relationships can be like that. Sometimes there are currents under water and it’s so gradually moving you further and further apart. So a few keys to keeping this from happening are:
1- Be intentional to invest into each other in prayer, in communication, in your sex life if you are married. (Make a list of the areas you need to be more intentional in.)
2- Take responsibility that you will do all in your power for your relationship to flourish and be beautiful. Stop blaming and shaming and start focusing on your part, not theirs.
3- Know when to speak up and know when to shut up! Speak words of life into your relationship. Don’t say what you have. Say what you want & what God says your relationship is to be.
4- Try to out-serve each other.
5- Have fun again! Go play putt putt, or to a romantic comedy, or to dinner with friends. Play together and get the sparks flying again!
So the good news is love is not lost! Just start the journey back to it today one choice at a time, one prayer together at a time, one tone at a time, one kind, gentle word at a time, one fun activity at a time, one romantic comedy at a time, one serve at a time, and only if you’re married, one steamy evening at a time! ❤️
Note: You need a license to drive and you need a license to live together and do things married ppl do. So for those not married but still doing the funky chicken, your first step back to love is to be pure until you’re married. Had to throw that out there as a disclaimer especially since I just spoke to a conference filled with students. Had a blast with you guys, Collide Weekend!
Happy Monday!
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If life has gotten messy, you’re not sure if enough is enough, or when to speak up, when to shut up, and want tools to change the landscape of your relationships check this out LoveANYWAY Online 8 Module Course