HOW TO RAISE CHAMPIONS who raise champions     

A Mother’s Manual (With a Warning Label)

But first, Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Garrison Cooley who were just married May 8, 2026! What a lovely wedding and celebration. What a beautiful couple and what a family to get to be joined together with. We love the Sniders and we welcome their precious daughter into our family! Our hearts are all so full from all the love that was shared.

I’ve waited to be able to share this message for years and knew that one day, I would. It was pretty special to get to share it the weekend of my youngest son’s wedding. I decided to share my notes with you and hope it’s a blessing to you as you hopefully join me and adopt this as your number one mission in life like I did to raise champions.

WARNING LABEL

WARNING:

This is not a TED talk, a podcast, or self-help meant to be “the miracle you’re looking for” as a parent.

If improperly applied, or through negligence in applying it altogether—depending on the severity of your condition of “The Fear of Failure to Launch” when it comes to your children—this could result in headaches, nausea, sleeplessness, and other stress-induced illnesses for both you and/or your children.

Absolute ignoring of these truths could ultimately result in death—if not physical death, then spiritual death and separation from God for all of eternity.

DISCLAIMER

A. This is for moms—because it’s Mother’s Day—but it applies equally to dads and anyone raising or influencing the next generation.

B. This will help explain why some of us are winning in certain areas and struggling in others based on how we were raised.

C. If you lacked strong or godly parenting, this fills in gaps.

D. If you are a teen or young adult, listen closely—this will answer questions about why you do what you do and how to ENSURE your bright future.

E. If you listen as if this is for you, the Holy Spirit will highlight how each truth that applies specifically to your life and your future children.

INTRODUCTION 2: 

THE MISSION IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT: To RAISE CHAMPIONS…who raise champions

A family friend we admire so much raised four boys who all turned down an empire to pursue the will of God.

I asked her, “What’s your secret?”

Without a thought, she said that it was simple. And that she made it her number one goal to raise 4 champions.

I made it my mission: to raise two champions.

At the end of the day, and many of those days – and nights – were long…

A. Through long days and long nights, I stayed laser focused.

B. Not just raising good kids or just successful kids but raising champions.

C. Foundational truth:

If you want to raise champions, you must first be one.

“Train up a child in the way he should go…” (Proverbs 22:6)

One application: train them in the way they are bent—athletically, creatively, intellectually, spiritually.

F. We invested in what our kids were drawn to.

G. We sacrificed to develop what God placed in them.

“The gifts and callings of God are without repentance.” (Romans 11:29)

Commit to do all you can to draw out greatness from their gifting whether it is math or acting or technology or business or sports or medicine or ministry.

Proverbs 4 was a guide for me in my parenting and I encourage you to go and study it and let God speak to you through it and give you a burning passion to instill wisdom into your kids. Do a full study on godly wisdom vs worldly wisdom so you know the difference and can teach it to your kids.

***Give results of survey with 25 moms!!! SHARE ON BIG SCREEN

WE DID NOT PARENT PERFECTLY BUT WE DID PARENT ON PURPOSE

& YOU CAN, TOO. 

PRO TIP #1   –  STOP AND LISTEN   (stop sign)

A. This showed up more than anything from moms of adult kids:

“I wish I would have listened more.”

B. Listen with empathy.

If it matters to them, it matters.

C. Even when you are overwhelmed, tired, or stretched thin:

“Having done all, stand.” (Ephesians 6:13)

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

D. We are not feelers—we are believers.

E. Practical application:

1. Don’t overreact
2. Create TIME and space to STOP & LISTEN
3. Let them talk through hard things – GUIDE TO TRUE NORTH

F. Core value:

Nothing they do changes your love for them.

G. Stories:

Carpool –

GAV – 2 good things / 1 bad thing from your day / Late nights w Gav

G2 – would get in the car telling me allll about his BEST/WORST DAY EVUH 

The week before Garrison’s wedding, we had everything to do—but we stopped and spent time with him anyway.

H. You will never regret stopping—but you will regret not doing it. If you spend time with them when they are little, they will want to spend time with you when they are big!

PRO TIP #2.  –  CREATE A FAMILY MANTRA

A. “Cooley’s don’t quit.”

B. Establish a phrase that defines your family identity.

C. We never let our kids quit commitments. If they joined a team no matter how terrible the coach or the kids ended up being, we didn’t let them quit. One time all the other parents thought we were nuts to allow our son to stay on that team with all the dysfunction but we empowered our kids to be change agents with those kids and it was amazing to see them weather that situation and thrive ANYWAY. 

D. Principle:

Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.

The latter is manipulation and will not serve them well or you in the end. It betrays trust and communicates you do not believe in them. It’s control and selfishness and proves our lack of trust in God and our superior trust in ourselves. It is one way we make ourselves our own God…and teach our kids to do the same thing. Ouch! Raise your hand if you’ve done this, too so I don’t feel alone over here. It’s tight but it’s right. Thankfully, for the most part we lived by the former and I learned early on with my boys, if I did the latter too much, they would not have it.

E. Hard truth:

You cannot raise a champion while allowing a victim mindset. When the going gets tough the tough get going…that doesn’t mean to leave to us – in means get going overcoming the situation. We are more than conquerers the Bible says and that applies to real life situations.

F. Teach:

1. Stand up for yourself
2. Handle pressure 
3. Finish what you start

G. Biblical principle:

“The fruit of the Spirit is… faithfulness.” (Galatians 5:22)

H. Parents miss this all the time:

Removing kids from commitments like practice or games or church events as punishment teaches quitting. You are quitting on your team and not coming through when you do this. Truth: parents sometimes are looking for an excuse to not do it – not cool -It’s lazy and it will not produce champions.

I. Better discipline requires more effort—but produces better results.

J. To raise champions, you don’t look for the easy way. Ppl are surprised when life is hard. That’s what gets ppl tripped up many times. Who told you it was supposed to be easy? If it was easy, everyone would be doing it but they are not. We can look at our world and tell this is the case.

Paul – I was pressed but not crushed, persecuted but not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. Share this scripture with your kids instead of coddling them if you want them to be champions.

PRO TIP #3.  –  SIDE IN WITH AUTHORITY (a Badge – name of Jesus)

A. Never let your kids hear you dishonor authority, even with words or eye rolls or actions.

B. This includes:

1. Teachers
2. Coaches
3. Leaders
4. Pastors
5. Spouses

C. Scripture:

“Remind them to be subject to rulers…” (Titus 3:1)

“Submit… to every human authority…” (1 Peter 2:13–14)

“Let every soul be subject…” (Romans 13:1–2)

“Obey those who rule over you…” (Hebrews 13:17)

D. Principle:

Get under what you need to get under so you can get over what you need to get over. God exalts the humble.

E. Story:

My mom backed authority–  Mrs. Knight 6th grade. That shaped me. All the other parents tried to get my mom to sign a petition to get her fired. She refused to sign it and stood with authority. She actually became the principal. I pointed back to her many times in how she shaped me academically.

Later, hard coaching didn’t break me—it built me. Coach Black’s voice rang in my head in India when things were very difficult and I was so glad my Mommy didn’t come and rescue me from her like so many others did even when she shoved me in a game out of frustration. Nobody was coming to save me in India. I had to suck it up and deal with it.

F. Long-term impact:

Strength built under authority carries you into victory in future battles.

PRO TIP #4  –  TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

A. Do not partner with your child’s victim narrative.

B. Balance:

1. Hear them
2. Support them
3. But Still require ownership

C. My boys hated it when I said this but they also knew it meant, they were not getting off the hook:

“I already did 6th grade. Now it’s your turn.”

D. Principle:

Responsibility builds strength.   Rescue builds weakness.

E. Real-life example:

Projects were theirs—not mine. TBH I did help them with their projects because loved them and while all the other parents complained about science projects, I decided to embrace them and see them as such amazing quality time with my kids filled with teachable moments about responsibility, how to make stupid stuff fun, and would pop popcorn or make hot cocoa while we did them and made them into as fun a I could for them. But I did not do them for them. 

I would walk into classrooms and see that 100% those other projects were done by parents – so pretty and perfect while mine were very obviously done by boys. But to me they were the most beautiful because they were real.

Many “perfect” outcomes are parent-produced, not child-developed.

F. Don’t raise impressive kids—raise capable ones.

PRO TIP #5.  –  BE HAPPY AND HAVE FUN (Confetti/ yellow Happy face)

A. Happy moms raise happy kids.

B. Happy people are :

1. More successful
2. Healthier
3. Have stronger relationships

C. Source:

“Happy is the one who trusts in the Lord.” (Psalm 40:4)

D. When is the last time you were not happy? You were not trusting Him with something : illness, rebellion, stress.

E. Solution:

Trust God in all of it. Choose to live out your Christian walk. Go to church weekly. Trust Him with your giving…tithe and be generous. Trust Him in your finances. Trust Him with your friendships. 

You are the sum of the people you are around and the books you read. 

Go to MOBgroups PARENTING ON PURPOSE THIS SUMMER / Faith Foundations. 

Put all your eggs in one basket. 

F.  Church was not an option until our kids were out on their own which is when it is appropriate for them to make that decision. Would you let your toddler go out and start the car and take it for a spin? No, because it is not age appropriate. There is a maturity level needed for certain things to be allowed. Going to church was one of the few non negotiables for our kids even as teens and as long as they are in our house. We are the body of Christ. You want all of your body to be functioning and present right? Well, Christ doesn’t want you isolated. Isolation in the body or cut off means damage. 

Remember the best way to RAISE A CHAMPION is to be one….

G. Application:

This is not natural parenting—it is supernatural.

“Have faith in God… speak to the mountain…” (Mark 11:22–23)

H. Personal practice:

Consistently declared identity over my kids: “You are champions.”

Got them in church and surrounded them with godly friends and taught them the power of trusting God with your giving, serving, and not forsaking the assembling together with other believers.

Paid them to read their Bibles one summer. Instilled a hunger for the Word in them.

Modeled being led and hearing God’s voice, trusting His leading – such a key to being happy.

I. Champions do daily what others do occasionally.

Call out destiny, not dysfunction.

J. Lifestyle:

1. Create fun
2. Celebrate often
3. Enjoy life intentionally – go to the beach, go to top golf, do fun stuff as a family. Take the vacation. Do a staycation.

K. Truth:

If you’re not having fun, you’re not doing it right.

PRO TIP #6   –   TELL THE TRUTH

A. “The truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32)

B. I am not even talking about just not lying. I am talking about the way you live. Don’t talk one way and live another because the only person you are fooling is the one in the mirror. Your kids are smarter than you may think.

C. Kids recognize inconsistency quickly.

D. Requires:

1. Humility
2. Honesty
3. Growth mindset

E. Family practice:

1. Annual Family Goals & 1 challenge for each in our family…Ask for feedback “Mom to stop yelling.”
2. Set goals from the feedback each year
3. Write them down – we put them on our mirrors in the bathroom
4. Hold each other accountable

F. Example:

Personal growth areas addressed openly—even imperfectly.

G. Culture:

A culture of critique produces growth.

H. If you know it all, you can’t grow at all.

PRO TIP #7 – WRITE THE VISION (Inflatable giant pencil)

A. “Write the vision and make it plain…” (Habakkuk 2:2)

B. We created a family constitution.

C. Core rules: We hung this over their beds on a big poster board they got to make in their own handwriting and decorate.

1. Obey now. Understand later.
2. Honor others and take responsibility.
3. Have a good attitude.

D. Culture:

1. Joy
2. Fun
3. Growth

E. Scripture:

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

F. Principles taught:

1. If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time
2. Be a goal getter, not just a goal setter – LEAVE IT ALL ON THE FIELD. If you want it, go get it. Call those things that be not as though they are.

G. Final truth:

The pressure will never decrease—your ability must increase.

FINAL CHARGE

A. Do not lose hope. It’s not over. God is still working.

B. You are not raising average, good citizens. You are raising champions.

C. Stay focused in your prayers and at times it is the only way to connect. Mad Mama prayers – college 

D. Stay faithful. They are watching.

E. Stay full of faith. Faith comes by hearing the word – another reason to be in church!!! 

– AIM ARROWS NOT JUST ANYWHERE BUT TO A CLEAR TARGET

IN PRAYER TOO I PRAYED FOR THEIR SPOUSES SINCE BEFORE BOTH THEIR SPOUSES WERE BORN.

THE BIGGEST CHECK MARK IN LIFE – MY #1 ACCOMPLISHMENT IN LEFE IS DONE…

SHOW PICS OF BOTH BOYS WEDDINGS…

F. Final statement:

To raise champions—you must be one. And in case you didn’t know, YOU ARE ONE! Even if you haven’t been acting like one, go to Faith Foundations, join a serve team and let our serve team leaders mentor you and help to hold you accountable to be the champion you are. Join a MOBgroup. With this many champions in one room and if we are raising champions, this city has no chance except for crime rates to become lower and for Christ to be preached everywhere we go. And for this church to be packed wall to wall because we are championing the cause of /christ at work, in our families, at school, and as we shop and go about life.

Who is committed to be the champion you were called to be and to raise champions? Who feels like you know how to a bit more now and have clarity on your calling as a Mom. 

Close with my call with Mrs. Julie, the wife of one of the Fathers of Modern day Childrens Ministry…..It is your responsibility to do EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO RAISE YOUR BOYS TO SERVE JESUS. DON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. Have the mindset – not on my watch…..

I was feeling sunk in that season and was about to go with – oh well, I did all I knew to do and I don’t want to push them farther away. But reality, there was no further I could’ve pushed them… so I figured, they are running pretty hard in the other direction so I might as well go all in here and so I did. 

Prayer, Love, Connection, and Comments as led by the Holy Ghost and soon they begin to turn back to God’s will for their lives. Get determined and do not let go of your promise – 

As for me and my house, we WILL SERVE THE LORD! 

If you’re not serving, that doesn’t apply to you so BE THE CHAMPION you are called to be and raise the CHAMPIONS your kids are called to be!!!! Raise champions who will raise champions.

I hope you had a Happy Mother’s Day and I hope these truths will help you enjoy being a Happy Mama who raises happy kids. Happy kids are much more likely to become champions. Do everything in your power humanly possible and when you run out of your power, lean on His to help you raise champions who raise champions. Let’s leave a legacy of faith that lasts for generations.

Happy Monday!