Have you ever been “DONE!” ?

Done with school.

Done with a boyfriend.

Done with a job. 

Done with a relationship. 

Check! Finito! Over! No more! 

 

We’ve all had spring fever when as students we are so over studying and just want to put on our swim suits & head to the beach! We’ve all been in relationships that needed to end and it was healthy to end when the relationship was with someone who pulled us further and further away from our walk with Christ. 

What about a relationship where you feel it should be repaired, not ended?  But you don’t know how. Maybe a spouse, an adult child, a cousin, a boss, or a friend. Relationships are messy. No better way to say it. They just are! Because we are messy!😜 My husband says this all the time and I just love it…”We are all uniquely screwed up in our own special way.” 

Put that In your pipe and smoke it! Good stuff 🙃

A few questions to ask yourself before being “done”  :

1- Is there a difficult conversation I am avoiding that could repair the relationship but just don’t want to put in the emotional effort? 

2- Is there an area of misunderstanding that could be resolved by initiating contact? 

3- Could it be that you are reading something into the situation that is not there? Or perhaps the other is? 

Or are you perhaps “chasing the wrong rabbit”?

4- Have you been 100% humble in trying to talk things out before or had your mind made up that you know their motives?  

5- What cognitive distortions could you be dealing with in this relationship? Explore these thoroughly to see if there is another option than “done”? (Mind reading, catastrophizing, black & white thinking, and others–Google cognitive distortions and enjoy doing a little self evaluation)  

6- Finally after those questions and others the Holy Spirit might guide you to ask yourself, are you really “done”? Or do you maybe just need to instate some healthy boundaries and walk through this relational storm in love and watch that love win for you all?!  

Last thing to leave you with if you find yourself in this position. If it truly is best to be done with someone who has betrayed your trust, maybe even abusive, refuses to be humble, continues to only engage with you in unhealthy ways and you are led to truly be “done” then in those rare cases, you can be done and love ANYWAY! Sometimes the best way to love is from a distance and you let God work forgiveness in your heart and heal your hurts. You will need some help with this and do not need to do this alone! If you find yourself truly done with someone you love and it’s best to be, you need to reach out to a mentor or pastor or counselor to walk you through this. You need accountability so they can help “check” you in ways that you need to be. There are great resources regarding this topic and if you need them email me at hello@happyanyway.org and I will get you some things that have helped me in this before. 

I’m so thankful for this #happysisterhood 😍 We need each other and before you are done with someone, I hope you are really sure and it is for a legitimate reason. Those reasons do exist but even so love ANYWAY for YOUR sake! More of this to come in the devotional I’m working on called love ANYWAY! 

 “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens a friend’s character.”

Prov. 27:17 ISV

********Have you registered yet for the Laugh Love and Live Conference this fall? Sept. 22-23 in beautiful Orange Beach, AL White Sandy beaches always help you love ANYWAY!

😎🌊😜 Come and join us as we enjoy hearing from Lisa Young and other amazing pastors’ wives, put our toes in the sand and have a big giant slumber party with our happy sisterhood on the beach!!!!! 

Register at happyanyway.org to get the Early Bird rate! It won’t last long so hurry your lil hiney on over and register and BOOK your room before they are gone!!