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Stress & ANXIETY

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October 11, 2021

Relationships are not disposable

God made us to connect and when we are born again the very love of God is poured out on the inside of each of us. That love enables us to overcome any relational hurdle we face. Love, when yielded to, never fails.

You may have just read this and thought ~ yea but what about________(this or that situation). Any friendship or family relationship or work relationship that didn’t work out, died, or has been constantly in and out of drama…’s because one or both parties are choosing to yield to selfishness, offense, fear or something in opposition of love.

There is no relationship that can’t be healed if both would choose LOVE. God’s best is for us to reconcile our differences and work through things. If this is true, why do so many relationships just get thrown away?

Excuses you have heard like I have probably are things like :

Some friendships are for a season or a reason

It just was time to move on

We fell out of love

We just aren’t the same people anymore.

Reality is that somebody hurts somebody’s feelings or someone crossed a nonnegotiable boundary or there was a conflict or constant conflicts that just couldn’t be worked through.

Of course abuse, infidelity, or continual toxicity will destroy a relationship. So in these extreme cases, no one should stick around for true abuse. It’s healthy to go where you’re celebrated, not tolerated. It’s right to love yourself enough to draw boundaries realizing you are not the one disposing of a relationship like that. They are and you are freeing yourself of the toxicity, abuse, or infidelity. In these situations, they are “telling you” they want to leave your life. One thing I’ve learned is when someone tells you they want to leave your life, believe them. And let them go.

But on the other hand, if you have the mindset of “Relationships aren’t disposable” you will be willing to have the tough conversations needed to have healthy relationships.

Here are a few tips to help your relationships last and be enjoyable:

Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. Talk about things and don’t let them fester.

Don’t be afraid to bring up touchy subjects but be sensitive to timing, tone, and teachability.

Understand that you may not understand. Be self aware that there could be a “plank in your eye” you can’t see.

Choose to believe the best of the other. Assume positive intent & refuse to be easily offended.

Ask God to show you which fruit of the spirit you need to develop & stop focusing on what the other needs to improve in.

Guard your heart and ask God to surround you with the right friends. Beware when you pray that prayer, things will shift and may be painful but trust God. People who are unwilling to grow will become uncomfortable with your growth and you could find yourself disposed of. But that only happens when people are unwilling to put the hard work in or when they don’t value you enough to invest difficult conversations in. But it’s ok because you’re worth it. If they don’t see your value and want to throw you away, it’s their loss. You just be sure you are willing to put the work in and if they aren’t, you keep on the path God has for you. If they go off course, let them go! Invite them to continue on but if they choose not to, hold your head high knowing God is the God who sees ahead and He’s preparing people in your life who won’t dispose of you so easily but will sharpen you, support you, and who you bring value to and enjoy!

I’ve walked through what you’ve just read and have never been more content, happy, and fulfilled in the most beautiful relationships that are life giving and a ton of fun!

Happy Monday, y’all!

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