Please rejoice with me! I feel like how an addict must feel when they look back over the last several months and realize after so many years of using, they’ve been clean now for a while!
My drug of choice has been church / ministry / work – call it what you want…. honestly, I’ve been a workaholic.
I’m having a realization that as I look back over the last few months (6 to 12 now, Yay!) that I am no longer a workaholic! I’ve done it. I still work hard and have some weeks that are far over 40 hours but then just as many that are far less than that giving me a healthy average of where I’ve been aiming to be when it comes to work!
Only God could have helped me balance this out to a healthy rhythm because it was deeply rooted in lots of dark, ugly things…
Negatives…keepin’ it real so you can see you are not alone
(-) I was working no less than 60 to 80 to even 100 hour weeks for years consecutively with nowhere near enough breaks or rest. ** I am so sorry, Kevin, Gavin, Garrison, friends, & other family. Please forgive me! Not sure what I was “chasing” as one friend has kindly put it trying to raise a yellow flag with me. ** Sorry I wouldn’t hear you. If you’re reading this, you know who you are. I value you so more than I know it has seemed.
(-) I wasn’t taking care of myself even while telling others to do so! I knew it in my head, could even teach and preach about it and write about it in my books. And I was genuinely grasping it for myself in some ways and attempting to share it with you along the way, doing my very best to practice what I was preaching but doing a less than par job of activating it in my own life.
(-) I found my happy and then seemed to lose it for a bit when life hit hard one brutal blow at a time. Loss upon loss upon loss. Thank God I had the tools to sometimes barely but to keep my head above water at least enough to breathe and keep surviving until I could get back to thriving like the byline of my third book talks about.
(-) I’ve felt like a farce, an imposter, a joke because I’ve known what I’m saying and what I’m experiencing has been two different things in this last season. I constantly encouraged myself in this season of how Brother Hagin preached healing even when he was sick and that circumstances can and will change. God’s Word never changes and His promises will not fail.
(-) I’ve tried and felt like a failure. I’ve gone for it and challenged you to as well all while feeling like this is not what I thought I was signing up for. So the vicious cycle of feelings of defeat ensued.
Positives…also just as real so you can be encouraged that you can count on God’s faithfulness
(+) I’m literally averaging 40 hours working a week which has been my goal I’ve been “straining every muscle” to accomplish! It’s easier to write a 10 page sermon than a 4 page one. And for me, it’s been my default to work 12-14 hour days for years on end now. But, FINALLY, my rhythm is healthy and no longer exhausting. Yours can be, too!
(+) I’m no longer picturing an “Atta girl from some fictional person in my head” for working soooo hard. I finally realized after 50 plus years of life that that “atta girl” is never coming from the people I long to hear it from. And the harder I work, the more those people are being pushed out instead of pulled in which is the opposite of what I truly am after. But I’m the one doing it, trying to please and get affirmations. I would have argued you to the ground this was NOT in any way, shape, or form what I was doing. It was subconscious. It was how I was medicating rejection, betrayal, hurt, and brokenness. It wasn’t working and so I’m grateful I have finally seen it and through much therapy, much time in the Word, much time investing in relationships that fuel me, I’ve finally at least gathered tools to now take my happy, love, and faith to the next level in my life and pass it on to anyone who needs another dose for themselves. Such as I have give I thee!
(+) My Happy Coaching is genuine and it works. Im not sharing theory or something slick and cool that I’ve heard somewhere but I’m sharing things that have turned my life around and continues to point me in the direction God wants for all of our lives. I share tools and practical exercises that literally help you have aha moments of your own like I keep having that produce a happy and fulfilled life.
(+) I literally read my own books astonished that I wrote the words on those pages to help me regain the yardage I seemed to be losing. These three books are tools that contain the secrets to a happy and fulfilled life, backed by science and the Word of God. They helped me find my way out of depression and anxiety and then now those truths God showed me I shared with you are still sustaining me today to not only find my happy but keep it and continue to spread it like confetti! Once you find your happy, you won’t keep it to yourself, either! I know you will join me in spreading the happy!
(+) Life is not perfect but my life is working and I can fully, confidently, and assuredly look you in the eyes and tell you that if you would like, I can without a doubt help you live #ALifeThatWorks and be #HappyANYWAY #LoveANYWAY & #BelieveANYWAY no matter what life throws at you! How can I be so bold to say such a thing? Because I’ve not only done it but am continuing to live this stuff out…not perfectly but authentically and in such a way that I’d love to bring you along on the journey with me of enjoying our joy that only comes from Joy Himself!
I pray over you right now to find the rhythm you’ve been longing for and for you to begin to walk in the joy you know God is calling you to. I pray that you will be strengthened with might by God’s Spirit to keep going even when it seems impossible. I pray God is seeing ahead and providing for you in ways you can’t even imagine. Trust Him and He will guide you like He has me to the right people and resources to help you overcome!